I just got married. It was an incredible day and nearly everything went according to plan(at least to my knowledge). During the days leading up October 2nd 2021 I thought a lot about when I met Kurtis and how much we have changed compared to now. In all of my reminiscing I decided to share my engagement story as well as the events leading up to it, cause why not?
How we met
Kurtis and I met during the summer of 2018 at bible school camp where we were instructors. We were part of the same team, a team the Kurtis had flown from KS to NY to be a part of. We were fast friends during that summer.
I found Kurtis to be incredibly annoying but more importantly he was fun and so good with kids. We spent our free time taking walks and chatting about anything at all. A great deal of our topics were faith based because it’s hard not to talk about such things when you are teaching it. I soon found him less annoying.
He called me M’lady and I called him Kurtis, and sometimes brother knight. I was stupidly oblivious to my feelings and Kurtis was oblivious to everything but my beautiful charm. The summer was over to quickly and Kurtis had to fly back to KS.
We kept in touch as “friends” with numerous phone calls and skype calls. We stayed up way to late talking, talking, and more talking. It was wonderful and it sucked. It felt like forever and there was more than one time that I thought it was over.
Kurtis in NY
To my surprise the long(In reality it was like six months) wait was over and Kurtis was coming to Ny. That’s right this crazy man decided to pick up his life drive 24 hours and take up residence in NY. I was terrified for him but so excited to see him.
Kurtis made it and with some rough times was established here. Our relationship was great and then it wasn’t. I battled with pretty severe mental health issues and Kurtis was just trying to survive. However, if you really and truly want someone in your life and they want the same you find a way to make it happen.
We spent another summer teaching bible school, this time on different teams for obvious reasons. We spent the summer calling each other and talking and I did a lot of crying, my mind was still pretty unhealthy.
After that summer we wanted things to go back to normal, but they didn’t. Instead things got worse and we struggled, mostly we struggled with chastity. It was by far the most difficult season of my life and really depressing so we won’t go into to much detail here.
I’ll do a story on my mental health journey someday but right now the spotlight is on my love life. Back to it.
In the beginning of December Kurtis and I made a promise to each other to be chaste. We wanted a healthy relationship where we respected each other and didn’t give to our bodily desires. We did really well with it too. All month we were chaste and loving.
A really big change
It was a really good time of my life and I don’t think I will ever forget that month. I love Christmas and it was that time of the year. More so the man I loved was doing well and we were doing well. I couldn’t wait for our first Christmas together, that’s right he was spending it with me.
It was a wonderful Christmas, even though I worked that morning, by 3:00 I was surrounded by people I loved having the time of my life. At the end of the day I felt really sick and retreated to the empty living room with Kurtis where we sat on the couch and talked.
I told him I probably felt sick because of all the candy and sugar that was in the house and I was most likely eating to much of it. At some point in our conversation I made a joke about the nausea being morning sickness. Kurtis was alarmed.
He said and I quote, “There’s no way right?” Stupid question, it made me think. I was late by a week and feeling tired and sick, hmmmm. Kurtis said we should take a test, I laughed and agreed knowing without a doubt it would be negative.
Fast forward two days with me standing in the bathroom staring at a stick with the little blinky loading sign only to have it load into “yes” well ****. I was pregnant and everything felt like it was coming crashing down around me.
I have plenty of other stories out their that tell this story though and this story is technically supposed to be about how much I love my husband so lets talk about him and how he felt.
Kurtis was scared and nervous, but most importantly he was in love with our child, and perhaps more importantly, he loved me. We were going to make it work. Kinda a spoiler because you know already that we were successful but just so you know it was really hard.
It wasn’t easy on our relationship, a baby never is. It’s a lot of change and there were moments were neither of us did our best but we kept trying. Kurtis was worried he wouldn’t be a good dad, I wasn’t. I knew he was good with kids and I knew he wanted to be a dad.
During my pregnancy Covid came to a peak and made life difficult for everyone, including us. Kurtis couldn’t work and had to be on unemployment which wasn’t something I loved. We had limited places to go and of course a lot of anxiety about germs in general.
It made things different, but they were already different for us, so what difference does it make, you know? We planned for our baby and our future, hoping, wishing, and working. We were supported by almost everyone especially out families.
When Kurtis could work again he did and saved money and paid my medical bills and supported me. He wasn’t always perfect, but neither was I. We didn’t need to be perfect though we just needed things to work.
Life with a baby
After a long, and mean long, nine months. And I say long, long, because the stubborn boy was late by a week and a half. Even the induction took forever! Still we ended up with a healthy baby boy and we named him Amos John. Amos because I liked Amos and Kurtis didn’t mind it and John because Kurtis’s middle name is John.
Once again with a baby things change, you have to figure out how to see each other, have time for each other and the small wriggling bundle that is your son. We figured it out through much trial and error and eventually established a date day once a month that was just for the two of us.
The February after Amos was born Kurtis informed me that he had planned us a date and I was thrilled! Why? Because one, I always plan the dates and two, I was about 99% sure I knew exactly what was going on.
His planned date included going to the park where he had asked me out the first time, which did nothing to stave off my suspicion. I learned later that Kurtis wasn’t trying to not be suspicious because he didn’t think he would ever be able to actually surprise me, we had talked about it to much.
Back to the date plan which was a walk at the park and dinner out, and by dinner out we mean Chinese takeout.
The morning of you can bet I got all dolled up, it was early March now and a fairly warm day for March, warm if you are used to NY weather. I met Kurtis at his apartment and from there he drove us over to the park.
It was a beautiful day out and this particular ark was on the lake which just makes everything better. The first place I head for at any good park are the swings, so that is where we started.
Kurtis seemed totally shill that day, happy, but chill. Also I could find zero evidence of a ring box on his person or in the car and since it was my car I’m pretty sure I would have noticed a ring box sitting in it. I began to wonder if I had guessed wrong.
After a while of us being there and enjoying our walk Kurtis started to act a little strange, like he was waiting for something to happen. I was once again suspicious. It didn’t take much longer for my suspicions to be confirmed.
Kurtis led me over to the boat launch where there were some rocks that went out into the lake. It was rather romantic scenery sitting on the water, which was still frozen, surrounded by glistening scenery.
Once we were settled, sitting on the rather slippery rocks, Kurtis started talking about how we started something new at this park and how we could start something else here as well. And then after a little fumbling around in his pocket he pulled out the ring and asked, “Will you marry me?”
I said yes.
Oh Stupid ring sizes
Unfortunately I got my ring size wrong and have spent a good part of my life believing I was an eight, I am actually a seven. Unless you ask a pro jeweler then I’m a 6 ¾. It was ok though we just got it resized and now it fits perfectly.
I absolutely love it and I had given him several suggestions on what I would like so the ring itself was very much a surprise. It’s absolutely gorgeous and my mother found a beautiful wedding ring to match it.
It was a wonderful day and we topped it off with the promised Chinese food. Not only were our planned activities relaxing and fun I was now promised to the very man I had so longed to marry and would soon be Mrs. Schmitz.
I also Share this Story on YouTube if you want to check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEOnJIotscs